My Girls - Nicole, Tamiko, Jamie and Miya
The question started over thirty years ago before Tamiko was born, “Do you want a boy or a girl?” I gave the standard answer, but one which I really felt, “I don’t care as long as the baby is healthy and happy.”
I got the question again before Miya was born, but in somewhat different form. “Well now that you have a girl, wouldn’t you like to have a boy.” I explained my feelings the same way on the subject (but I don’t think people believed me.)
When I had the good fortune to inherit Nicole, someone quipped, “too bad you didn’t get a son to balance out your girls.” So, I was not surprised several years later, when people were asking after Jamie was born, “Are you going to keep trying, so you can get a boy?”
Admittedly, in early days the questions were more often said aloud and later more often asked in a whisper. Progress. And in fairness, they were always asked by people who had never met my girls. The people who really knew my daughters didn’t ask these questions.
Still, the questions chaffed. Behind each one was the notion that I would somehow be disappointed if I didn’t have a son, robbed of a special father-son relationship.
As a father of all girls, I wanted to put to rest all of society’s spoken and unspoken questions:
Who will you throw the baseball with?
Well, that would be Jamie; it's something we have done since she was a little girl.
Won’t you be disappointed you didn’t watch your son play sports?
Nope, I’ve had endless hours of enjoyment watching Nicole in the pool, Miko on the basketball court and Miya and Jamie on the soccer field. They’ve been most valuable players and won championships. They have lettermen jackets decorated with awards that would put most boys to shame.
Won’t you miss the adventures of father and sons?
We’ve biked, hiked, backpacked, camped, and skied together. We’ve traveled across the country and ventured to Spain, Canada, and Japan. No shortage of adventures with my group of girls.
And it is fair to say that on top of all their accomplishments, my girls are also kind and compassionate, smart and funny, super moms, and great girlfriends, too, just all around wonderful people.
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t have anything against the male gender. I adore my grandsons. I love my son-in laws. I’m so proud of my nephews... “some of my best friends are men.”
However, after 30 years of answering various versions of the same question, perhaps I haven’t answered it clearly or forcefully enough, in a way that the people asking can really understand. So, let me try again:
I’ll put my daughters up against your sons, anytime, anywhere, in any arena you want: on the sports field, in the classroom, or at work. Bring it. You choose the event, whether it involves smarts, drive, or physical prowess, and my girls will kick your boys’ asses.
And no, I have no regrets that I didn’t have a boy.